I answered a customer (let's call her Viviane, fictitious name) who looked for me for an online job with the * EFT to treat relationship issues that were bothering her a lot. He liked his boyfriend a lot but he could not get well and the fights were constant.

I felt very jealous of him, reporting the following thoughts and feelings (I will report in a summary way): "I am angry at facebook, because there has contact with women. I feel disrespected because he posted a comment on a woman's photo. He can not have admiration for other women, only.

We then begin to treat these feelings with the * EFT and the truth was coming up behind this emotional framework. Viviane began to remember some situations lived in childhood with her father. According to his account, his father never attended him. They came out the scenes where she hoped her father had defended her and he did not take any action; Moments where she was sick and wanted her father to make you comfort and attention. He felt ignored, not welcomed, without his father's protection. All this experience lived with his father generated various feelings that were recorded in the child perpetuating to today. These are thoughts and feelings that are turning on the unconscious, in a non-clear way, but that generate sensation of insecurity.

Examples:

-"My father does not love me. If he loved he would have given me attention.
-"I feel rejected because he does not love me
- must have something wrong with me, the guilt must be mine (this is a kind of thought that is always behind the pain of rejection, whether consciously or unconscious).
- I am not worthy of receiving love (this thought is always behind the feeling of rejection)
- if my father who should love me unconditionally does not love me, no other man will not like me.

Through this lack of the relationship with the father, Viviane's self-esteem was deeply affected. It is necessary to emphasize that all these thoughts and feelings are not clear. The child gets sad and unsafe and does not know the reasons behind his emotional evil. The emotion is recorded, it is hardly cured in childhood, and the child grows and tends to suppress these emotions in part. When we keep negative emotions that have not been healed, we will certainly develop relationship difficulties with the people involved in the events that gave rise to these emotions. In Viviane's case, she had a very distant relationship from her father. But, the most interesting, is that we will design these unrealistic emotions in relationships with other people who have had nothing to do with our past: friends, boss, husband / wife, figures of authority and etc ...


The projection was very evident that Viviane had been doing, transferring all the anger and feeling of rejection that came from the relationship with his father, in the relationship with his boyfriend. These unconscious projections happen all the time, whenever we have unresolved emotions; Only occur in a subtle way and most of the time we do not mind. Usually let's blame the current person with which we are dealing, do not see our share of responsibility, let alone the projection of the past we are doing. For keeping the feeling that his father did not love her and that she was not worthy of receiving love, Viviane projected this feeling and wanted her boyfriend to give her unconditional attention to supply her lack. At the same time, she sought evidence all the time, also unconsciously, that her boyfriend did not love her. When we keep feelings of rejection, our mind gets seeking evidence that people really do not love us, and that's why we do not have value. We interpret the situations of life through our emotional filter. It is an unconscious mechanism to strengthen the sense of rejection.

That emotional emotional child of the past was very alive inside her, and whenever Viviane did not have the desired attention, distorted the situation and interpreted that her boyfriend did not love her enough. The fights with his boyfriend were actually fights with his father. All the anger and charge she felt and that she had not expressed in childhood were played in the current relationship. The lower our self-esteem, the more it means that we have these and other emotional conflicts that have become the past, and more we will do these unconscious projections in our current relationships. Soon in the first session we could treat and dissolve various feelings, which reflected in a significant improvement of insecurity, decreased jealousy and the need for attention. After 4 sessions, jealousy virtually disappeared. She no longer bothered that her boyfriend access Facebook and the feelings of mistrust were no longer present. The change was quick, in a short time. That's when a new problem arose: The boyfriend has now become unsure before her, and went on to do things she did before ... These details stay for some other article.