When you feel ashamed of something you have done, you will unconsciously feel a tension, a fear of having your exposed past, that someone comes to discover. And yet it is something totally impossible to be discovered, comes the feeling of guilt, self-empty, condemnation of oneself. Even if you do not remember daily than it happened, the concern is in the unconscious, increasing anxiety, influencing your behavior. Maybe you will develop a more timid behavior, insecurity attitudes. The higher the shame higher the negative effects. Stop and think right now, if your life was completely open and exposed, what would make you embarrassed? What events of the past would you not want other people to know (friends, parents, husband, wife, children, society in general)?
Shame can be associated with things you did or the events where you were the victim. People who have passed by physical, sexual or moral abuse will usually feel very embarrassed from what happened. Events that may seem silly to some, become a cause of great shame for others. The other day was making Eft Online on a client who had lost part of the memory after an accident. He had passed several years from the accident and he hid the fact that he did not remember many things from the past to the family and work people. When family members began to report events from the past, he simply pretended to remember. She felt embarrassed, with less capacity, fear that others saw him as a less competent person than it was before. Each one will have its specific motives to feel ashamed. After discovering the events you feel ashamed, you can treat the feeling with EFT to feel at peace. Do a mental exercise: Imagine that everyone has discovered, or a particular person, which you would never wish to know. Ask yourself: Why do I feel ashamed? What gives me more ashamed? Who do I feel more ashamed of? Feel all that will surface, all feelings and answers. With this you will have emotional content to work.
In the case of the victim, even rationally knowing that it was no guilt of what happened, yet the person is usually guilty. It is not enough to evaluate what the rational part speaks to us. You have to feel what emotions tell us and they may be going totally against logic. The EFT process is precisely to treat, eliminate and dissolve these negative feelings, no matter if they are justifiable or if they are completely absurd. It is a process for you to feel at peace, regardless of what has passed, the size of the error or who was the culprit. People who can speak of the past, give testimonials, lecturing on top of negative experiences or mistakes that have committed, without shame, guilt or remorse, indicate with this behavior has matured and forgiven. At least it seems like a sign that the person is dealing healthy with his past. Let's make a comparison. When you were a child I certainly committed mistakes that you were ashamed. He did things that at the time would never have the courage to admit to his parents, teachers and friends. However, the time passed. You became an adult. Has matured emotionally. And now you can speak of this childhood experience with lightness, without shame, sometimes even in good humor. This is because you have already completely overcame and forgave yourself fully, and today you see the fact that a totally different perspective.
That's how we should feel when we remembered other mistakes that we commit in adulthood: seeing us as a person who was immature in the past, who made a mistake, but that this was in the past and that now is as if we were more emotionally adults and we Certainly it is not easy to feel that way. Often we want to mature and grow, but we can not, it is stronger than us. EFT is a tool that makes this work possible and in a very deep and quick way in most cases.
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