Perfectionism is to have a standard of demand with yourself (and sometimes with others too), whether at work, relationship and other aspects of life, too high, difficult to satisfy and maintain. This can lead to several negative consequences: anxiety, insecurity, fear of never getting good enough, fear of falling the standard, relationships of relationships with friends, employee and co-workers, anger at himself and frustration for not being able to do so well done as desired ...

It is very common the perfectionist to stop performing many things for having the feeling that it will not do well enough. You want to make so perfect that you finished postponing for a better opportunity and ends not performing. Just thinking, you think it's going to give so much work that you already give up before you start. It is an issue that is also linked to insecurity and self-esteem. I say this from experience. A few years ago when I entered orkut, I participated in some communities and wanted to ask questions and give my opinion in various themes. I would like to write with such perfection that ended not writing anything. He wrote, rewrite and wrote again. He sought not to leave no breach, no mistake ... was totally exhausting and most of the time made me give up. Still, when I could write, I was super worried if I had spent the idea well, if it was going to be criticized, if there was any mistake I had not realized. I was slowly healing ... Today I know that often has spelling and grammar mistakes in my articles. I also have aware that a theme may not have become so well explained how much I would like. But that today does not stop me from writing. When I reread articles, sometimes I see mistakes that I consider very primaries ... Even so, I write my texts and send with tranquility. Looking back I realize that I stopped making numerous things because of an exaggerated perfectionism.


The perfectionist will also tend to have relationship problems. At home, no one does nothing according to their standards. At work too. Criticizes people at home and at work and rarely, or never, praises. It is stressed when you find defects, but do not be happy and do not pay attention or importance to what was well done. Everyone is incompetent, people are not as much capacity as it. It often ends up taking more tasks to get everything out of your way. With this it becomes an overwhelmed person, with a little comfortable, boring, difficult to deal with, and people feel displeasure in providing you some favor or service. Sometimes he has the behavior of the know-all or Mandam. Fight or gets dissatisfied with people who hire to provide you services (mason, joiner, plumber, diarist, etc.). It's interesting. The person arrives at the office complaining that he always walks full of things to do, who works too much, that everything falls on his back. When we investigate ... it's the perfectionist itself. Things do not fall on your lap, he seeking scabies to scratch.

They claim that nothing works without them, they need to take many things if not ... Then I ask: if not what? The firm closes? Does the company go bankrupt? Do not people survive? Does nothing work? So, does the person die or leave the company and guess what happens? Everything continues to work, the company remains open and everyone remains alive. Acting in this way is to underestimate people and the ability of them to overcome, in their shape, day-to-day problems. It is also important to say that other times the overload comes from a difficulty in saying no, which is linked to fear of rejection, please the others, all related to self-esteem. But this is the theme for another text. This one has to be perfect and can not leave the initial proposal. Perfectionist will often give the excuse that actually likes just doing things well done, which is a demanding person. Do things with dedication, in the best possible way and be picky is healthy. But what is the limit between healthy and sick perfectionist? There are several signs that we can identify, some of them already quoted before: never be satisfied with what he has done, take too long to perform something or postponed and never to do, always be dissatisfied and frustrated with the tasks performed by others, start to find everyone uncommon.

As I mentioned earlier, this level of requirement is usually a consequence of feelings of insecurity. Investigating the life of the perfectionist is common to find a perfectionist father or mother. Never felt reaching parents' expectations, for they have always demanded more and have never shown to be satisfied. It gets an emptiness that comes from childhood, lack of recognition. Therefore, this pattern of behavior is repeated, passes to the children, who pass on to their children, until someone takes aware and changes the pattern. Treating insecurities It is possible to modify behavior and become a more flexible person, less demanding with himself and with others, who can delegate and relate well, less susceptible to third-party judgment. Mushing the saved feelings of the past is often key to having a faster result. In my work, I use EFT to address these issues of the past and present.